Sarah Hawkins Editorial Studio
  • Home
  • About
  • Clients
  • Services
    • Manuscript Editing
  • Book Your Edit
  • Resources
  • Blog

Kickstarting your revision: the cold read

12/4/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
11 Min Read

What's discussed in this post

  • Introduction
  • The structure of a developmental self-edit
  • Step 1: Gain objectivity
  • Step 2: Read your manuscript
  • Further study

Introduction

You just finished your draft. Congratulations!

… Now what?

Even for the experienced author, revising a short story or novel can be a daunting task because the advice out there is often this broad or vague. Authors need specific and actionable advice so they feel confident in approaching a revision.
That’s where the developmental edit comes in.

A developmental edit is an evaluation of a manuscript's bigger picture (or macro) elements, which includes character, stakes, and plot. It may also address some micro edits such as pacing, structure, showing and telling, point of view, and tension. The point is to get the bones of the story in proper shape.

While hiring a professional to perform a developmental edit or editorial critique is always a good option, every author should attempt to do it themselves first. Learning to evaluate your own manuscript will not only help you hone your craft, but it will save you money.

​The structure of a developmental self-edit

So, what is the structure of a developmental self-edit? Here’s the basic outline:

  1. Do a cold read
  2. Evaluate your manuscript 
  3. Triage your issues and improvement ideas
  4. Revise your manuscript by working through your triage plan
  5. Repeat 1¬–4 until you feel the foundations of the story and its support structure are solid, then move on to line editing.

This post goes into how to perform a cold read. By the end, my hope is that you can approach this first step of revising your manuscript with confidence and clarity.

Get your free Developmental Self-editing checklist

* indicates required
/* real people should not fill this in and expect good things - do not remove this or risk form bot signups */

Intuit Mailchimp

Picture

​What is a cold read and how do you do one?

For a developmental editor, the cold read is the first read-through of the manuscript. Reading through the manuscript prior to digging into a developmental edit allows an editor to get an overall feel of the manuscript’s character, plot, stakes, and themes; the author’s style; and the obvious issues to address. Typically, no actual editing is performed on this first read, but the editor will have a checklist or notepad nearby to jot down notes or ideas.

A cold read is more easily done by a developmental editor because the manuscript isn’t precious to them. They go into the read with the needed objectivity. As the author, you don’t have that advantage. So, the first step of performing a cold read is to gain objectivity, and the second step is the read-through.

​Step 1: Gain objectivity

​Often, finishing a draft comes with a rush of excitement and adrenaline. You love these characters, love the story, and it’s all fresh in your mind—but ironically, that isn’t the best mindset to have when approaching a revision. You’re emotionally attached. And emotional attachment makes it hard to see the flaws and gaps in your character, story, and writing.
Picture
What you and your manuscript really need is objectivity. Here are three ways to help you get it:
1. Take time and distance away from your manuscript

Established authors, editors, agents, and book coaches all emphasize the importance of stepping away from your manuscript, giving it (and you) time to rest. I’ve seen many suggest letting the manuscript rest for at least six (6) weeks. This is often easier said than done. Sometimes, we are too excited to put our manuscript aside for long, and other times, we are on deadline, whether self-imposed or not. However, Tiffany Yates Martin says even a few days away from the manuscript can be effective—if you distract yourself.

Here are some distraction methods:
  • Read a new novel! This also gives you an incentive to buy yourself a new book to read as a “prize” for finishing your draft.
  • Pick up a new craft book. As you were drafting your novel, you probably got a feel for what craft aspect you need to work on. Read about it, do some exercises on it, improve your craft! Below are some of my favorites.
Picture
General Revision – Intuitive Editing by Tiffany Yates Martin. I cannot recommend this book enough. It’s the first book on revision with clear, practical, and actionable advice. It makes my neurodivergent brain happy.

Character – Creating Character Arcs: The Masterful Author’s Guide to Uniting Story Structure, Plot, and Character Development by K.M. Weiland and Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint: Techniques and exercises for crafting dynamic characters and effective viewpoints by Nancy Kress are both excellent! I love how Weiland combines character development and beat sheets to help you visualize your character arc. 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Intuitive Editing also has an excellent chapter on character. You can also pick up some psychology books! I suggest Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--And Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. It will give you a ton of insight into how your characters interact! ​
Plot – Save the Cat! Writes the Novel by Jessica Brody, of course, and Intuitive Editing has chapters on plot and stakes. If you want to look at the plot through the lens of scenes, Writing Deep Scenes: Plotting Your Story Through Action, Emotion, & Theme by Martha Alderson and Jordan Rosenfeld is excellent.
Picture
Show vs. Tell – I haven’t seen a better book on showing and telling than Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It): Learn how to find—and fix—told prose in your writing by Janice Hardy. Like Intuitive Editing (which has a chapter on this!), Hardy’s book gives actionable advice with great examples. Both books have the format of “how to find it and how to fix it,” which I find extremely helpful!
Picture
Picture
Line editing and copyediting – Editing Fiction at the Sentence Level: A guide for beginner and developing writers by Louise Harnby and The Chicago Guide to Copyediting Fiction by Amy J. Schneider.
Picture
  • Start revising an old project – Open the vault and pull out that novel you set aside to work on this current project. It’s ready for you to dig back in!
  • Start working on a new novel – Remember that idea that kept distracting you from writing the draft you just completed? Now's the time to begin brainstorming, plotting, character development, and writing!
  • Write a short story – Writing a short story can be extremely satisfying after the process of novel writing, especially flash fiction because a draft can be completed in one sitting. It is, after all, about 500­–2,000 words! 
Picture
Short stories have the added benefit of helping you hone your craft while you create something for your newsletter. Pick up Brevity: A Flash Fiction Handbook by David Galef to learn about the different formats of flash fiction and how to revise it. ​
Tip: Explore a new genre through a short story. It will distract you even further from the book you just finished.
  • Alpha or beta read a critique partner’s manuscript – This is an excellent way to turn on your editing brain! Swap manuscripts with a fellow author who trust and whose opinion you trust, and let them do some of the legwork of developmental editing on your manuscript while you do the work on theirs.
2. Read the manuscript in a different place than you wrote it
As Yates Martin says, “The brain is a creature of habit.” So, if you try to read your manuscript in the same place as you wrote the draft, your brain will go back into writing mode. You want it in reader mode!
3. Read the manuscript in a new format
This is an essential part of the editing process, I believe. Putting your manuscript in a new format—whether it's a printout, a paperback ordered off of Lulu, on your e-reader, or even with just a different font—tricks your brain into thinking it's not yours and therefore allows you to enjoy it as a reader would.

Step 2: Read your manuscript

Next, you’ll want to read your manuscript in as few sittings as possible. Make sure you have a notepad, notecards, etc. nearby to jot down issues you notice or improvement ideas. DO NOT mark up the manuscript itself (which is why putting it on an ebook reader is such a brilliant idea). If you begin marking up the manuscript, your brain will flip into writer and revision mode, and we’re only focusing on identifying issues and improvements right now.

Also, don't forget to write down good things about your manuscript! What did you enjoy? What is working? Highlight your favorite lines! You'll be happy to have a reminder of what is good about your manuscript as you dig into the revisions.

Once you're done with your cold read, it's time to let your first impressions simmer. Our unconscious discovers wonderful ideas when we let it. Leave your manuscript for a couple of days, let your unconscious do its magic, and never be without the means to take notes!

​To sum it up

Every author should learn how to perform a developmental self-edit because it will not only help them hone their craft but also save them money. A cold read is the first step of a developmental self-edit, and to perform an effective cold read, you need to obtain objectivity. Take time away from your manuscript if you can, and if not, read your manuscript in a new format and a new place than you wrote it. Read your manuscript in as few sittings as possible, and then let your unconscious work its magic before you start on the next step: Evaluating your manuscript.
0 Comments

Editor's Roundup: 2023 in Review

12/30/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture

14 novels edited​

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Unreleased & covers not currently available:
  • Guardian by S.G. Blinn
  • First Immortals by S.G. Blinn
  • Shadow Kiss by S.G. Blinn
  • The Light after the Darkness by Beverley J. Hall

6 Novellas and Vellas edited

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
*Stripped Away and The Daring Adventures of Honoria Porter are ongoing.

15 short fiction pieces edited

Picture
Picture
Picture
Plus 12 other short fiction pieces!

3 trainings completed

  • ACES Certificate in Editing
  • Louise Harnby's Fiction Editorial Report training
  • Louise Harnby's Narrative Distance training

Thank you!

When I began my freelance editing business in 2020, I never dreamed  I would have such consistent work! Thank you for giving me a sneak peek at all your stories this year. You are all so talented and impressive, and polishing your manuscripts is the most rewarding work I've done in my adult life. I can't wait to see what is in store for you all in 2023!

Happy New Year!

0 Comments

Editor's Roundup: One word or two?

9/30/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture

What's discussed in this post

  • Introduction
  • Door frame or doorframe?
  • On to or onto?
  • Compounds beginning with half
  • Self-editing tips: One word or two?
  • Further reading

Introduction

​Welcome to Editor’s roundup, a monthly post of common edits I’ve made in the last month. This month, we’re discussing 3 compounds that authors commonly mix up, and I’ll give you some tips on how to self-edit for word compounds.
But first, why is it important for you to self-edit for word compounds? That answer is easy: many editors, including myself, base their rates on the total word count. So, if you have a ton of open compounds (two-word compounds) when they are meant to be closed (one word), you will pay more for your editing.
Picture

Door frame or doorframe?

​We’ll start with an easy one. Often, I see authors split doorframe into 2 words, and I’ve even caught myself splitting the compound in my own writing! Merriam-Webster says doorframe is the correct spelling, so I looked into why we have a tendency to split the word. According to the Google Books Ngram Viewer, which checks how words and phrases are used over time, doorframe became the more common spelling in the 2010s. The use of door frame tapered off in 2013, and the use of doorframe peaked in 2017.

While door frame is still in use, a quick google search for entries of door frame yields results for doorframe in Merriam-Webster, Cambridge, Dictionary.com, and others, so I would stick to the one-word version.

On to or onto?

One of the fun things about being an editor is that I second-guess every grammatical rule I know, and then I end up down the rabbit hole. Along with lay vs. lie conjugations, I research onto vs. on to regularly, because if you mix them up, you can change the meaning of your sentence.

To know whether you need to use onto or on to, you need to know 4 things.

1.

The first thing to know is that the confusion with onto and on to we’re discussing here lies with using onto and on to as prepositions of direction.

2.

The second thing to know is that when you use on to, you’re actually using two distinct prepositions of direction: on and to. So, you need to look at these two words individually to see if they both fit the context.

  • To describes movement toward a destination.
  • On describes position.

Therefore, you’d only use the prepositions on and to together when you’re describing an object moving toward a destination and into a position. Often, you’re working with a verbal phrase (moved on) and–or an infinitive phrase (to become) when you use on to.

She went on to become a bestselling author. (The object she moved toward and into the position of becoming a bestselling author.)

They led them on to the upper landing. (The object them was led toward the position of the upper landing.)

She moved on to her next lover so fast. (The object she moved toward and into the position of a new lover.)

3.

Let’s move on to the third thing to know (see what I did there?), which is that onto means to position on, so it’s about an object’s movement on a surface.

I held onto the railing for dear life.
I set my phone onto the charger.
Picture

4.

The fourth thing to know is that onto and on are interchangeable. So, a good trick to know if you should onto instead of on to is to drop the to. If you drop to without any meaning changing, you can use onto.
​
I set my phone onto the charger and I set my phone on the charger mean the same thing, but I set my phone on the charger sounds better.

Compounds beginning with half

Half can precede verbs, nouns, and adjectives to create compound words. Those grammatical functions determine whether the compound is one word or two. According to The Chicago Manual of Style, the following general rules apply:

  • Adjectives are hyphenated to make one word (She peeked through the half-opened door).
  • Nouns are two words (She opened the half door).
  • Verbs are two words (She half opened the door).

​There are two major exceptions to these rules:
  1. The word is permanently one word or two according to the dictionary.
  2. The authorial or publisher style has a different preference. Yes, this means, if you’re an indie author, this is one of the places you can have a stylistic choice. You just need to communicate with your editor what your preferences are.

Self-editing tips

Editing for word compounds can be tricky. Spellcheck will often not recognize if a compound should be two words, one word, or hyphenated. Using a grammar check like Grammarly (although I think you need the premium version) or ProWritingAid can help you eliminate a lot of needless two-word compounds. Additionally, if you edit in Word, you can install a macro that will enable to you look up the word in Merriam-Webster with a couple of clicks.
Here are some final tips:

  • You generally hyphenate adjective compounds before a noun but not after a noun (the half-opened door vs. the door is half opened).
  • Nouns and verbs are typically open (two words) or closed (one word, not hyphenated), according to the dictionary entry.
Picture
  • If you prefer an open or hyphenated compound to be closed, make it into a portmanteau! For example, I love to use snortlaughed instead of she snorted a laugh because it reads more like the action. If you follow this advice, make sure they make sense. Also, inform your editor which portmanteaus you created so they don’t edit them out!


Finally, as you learn which compounds you tend to mix up, make a Find+Replace list for future reference.

Further reading

Google Books Ngram View: doorframe and door frame
Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “onto,” accessed September 25, 2022, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/onto.
The Chicago Manual of Style 7.89
“Using word macros for editing,” Rabbit with a Red Pen
​
0 Comments

Book Review: The Stories Stars Tell

3/12/2022

0 Comments

 
Content Guidance: This book contains grooming, on-page SA, and religious trauma related to purity culture and the patriarchy, and therefore this review includes discussion regarding the treatment of those issues.
Picture
​With an evangelical Christian upbringing and A-type personality, Emma is not one to take a risk--unless that risk involves Tanner, f-boy with a soft side only Emma seems to see. So when Tanner offers to be Emma's cliff jumping partner, she breaks out of her comfort zone and accepts. Their mutual attraction and passion ignite, sending them down a path of sexual- and self-discovery.


​I'm going to preface this review by saying this book is important. As someone from a similar background, I found the confusion and tension Emma feels throughout her sexual awakening and exploration relatable and portrayed well. Emma was raised to believe that her body was not her own and in order to be good, she had to deny her very natural feelings and bodily functions. So her choice to deconstruct those beliefs and search for a healthier relationship with her body, sexuality, and feelings is something I loved to see on the page, and I'd love to see more books explore this.

Generally, I loved the relationship dynamics in this book. They interweave and overlap in a way that is very high school. Tanner and Emma's romance is fast-paced and intense; Emma's friendships are loving and challenging; and Emma's changing relationship with her dad is frustratingly understandable. C.L Walters created complex characters with complex relationships, and the way the changing relationships challenge Tanner and Emma's beliefs and romance is the star of this book.

However, this book felt about 150 pages too long. I think Walters fell into the trap of wanting to tell all the stories in one book (a trap I know all too well). As a result, several side plots and backstories felt tagged on rather than integral to the story. Unfortunately, this includes the sexual assault and grooming backstories. I know from the author's note at the end of the book that Emma's #metoo backstory and her consequent struggle with her self-worth due to her religious background were especially important to Walters, and while I agree it's an important story to tell, it felt like it should've been part of a different story or novel. Emma's purity culture upbringing was enough for me to believe she would struggle with her desire for Tanner. 

This is the same with Tanner's grooming backstory. While I agree it's important to show that all people can be grooming and sexual assault victims, it didn't feel essential to Tanner's story in this book. I think it would've been better represented with a different character and a different story.

Finally, the Tanner's-favorite-book subplot didn't feel essential to the story, and I didn't understand the excerpts throughout. I loved the scene where Tanner and Emma are reading it together, but I don't think Tanner's secret bookishness added any actual depth to his character or story. It could've been removed without harming their love story or the friendship and family subplots.

Since these stories felt more tagged on than essential, they distracted from Emma and Tanner's emotional journeys, which involve learning that their self-worth comes from, well, within. And while the underlying lesson is the same, each comes to the lesson differently and separately. I'm a sucker for a love story where fulfillment is NOT found in the romance, and Walters delivers. But Emma's journey to learn this was a little more frustrating than Tanner's. While I understand it may have been more difficult for her due to evangelical theology ingrained in her, I think the book's length detracted from her journey and character in the end.

That being said, I would recommend this book to those interested in purity culture representation and those who love sex-positive non-HEA love stories. If you enjoy Katie Cotugno's 99 Days, Erin Hahn's Never Saw You Coming, and open-door sex scenes, you'll enjoy this book.

You can purchase The Stories Stars Tell on Amazon (Amazon affiliate link) and learn more about C.L. Walters at https://www.mixedplatepress.com/
0 Comments

Book Review: Scattered & Breaking

12/1/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
Serenity has taken the amnesia shot, and now there is a gap in her memory. As she and Jase learn more about Kaycie's flawed government from the inside, the people she thought loved her memory lapse to turn her into a peace symbol.

Meanwhile, the rest of her group of rebel friends work together to placate the islands so they don't turn back to Kaycie's tyrannical guidance. While learning to trust each other, their world expands.

​In this sequel, Natalie Cammaratta teases out the tension and anticipation the end of "Falling & Uprising" creates while playing on the themes of knowing vs. feeling, friendship, trust, and societal backsliding. It seems that an uprising and seeming environmental disaster (Where did the ocean go? How does that even happen?) isn't enough for Kaycie and its islands to forgo their corrupt government and false sense of security.

Sounds familiar, right?

The complicated political climate of this dystopia reminds me of "Star Wars: Episode III, Revenge of the Sith," in the best way. Serenity, like Padme, fights for a more fair world, and even with the amnesia shot, Serenity knows something is wrong with the Establishment, and she knows it's more than what she's told. Her sense of right is intact, despite the efforts of the people around her. She feels there is something wrong. The tension between knowing and feeling within Serenity builds out her character and makes it more interesting and complex than it was in Book 1. I liked Serenity in "Falling & Uprising." I LOVE the journey she goes through in "Scattered & Breaking."

Natale also expands the world for both the characters and the readers through Bram--and a third POV (which I am not going to name because I'm not sure if it's still a secret). Through Bram and the third POV, we see and learn more about the islands, how the uprising affected them, and why and how the sea disappeared. While their understanding of the world expands, friendships are tested, and they don't know who to trust. The interweaving of personal and societal relationships is intricate and, well, cool!

Basically, if you liked "Falling & Uprising," you'll love "Scattered & Breaking." It's STEAM-filled and passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. There are also several gay characters (one will surprise you!). I stand by my assessment that this series is for people who like "Downton Abbey," (Season 2!) and "Catching Fire."

And yes, Jase is still sketch. I also stand by that assessment.

Visit Natalie's website and purchase "Scattered & Breaking" through Amazon.
0 Comments

Book Review: Falling & Uprising

11/9/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
Serenity Ward lives a glamorous life on Kaycie, the last known livable place on Earth. Bram is a grouchy rebel from one of the secret, oppressed islands that exist to serve Kaycie. Together, they unite an uprising to liberate them all.
​In "Falling & Uprising," Natalie Cammaratta skillfully combines the old Hollywood glamour and witty banter of a classic Marilyn Monroe film with the suspense and worldbuilding of "Catching Fire," all in an apocalyptical setting that is all too real after the recent UN report. Like most YA apocalyptical dystopian novels, "Falling & Uprising" touches on inequality, governmental control, and environmental issues, but Natalie veers from a typical YA dystopian by making the protagonist a privileged, rich, and famous teenage girl. Serenity's worldview crashes when she learns of the other islands, and we follow her as she uses her privilege to take down the system that created it. This switch in perspective is both interesting and challenging. It's hard to create a sympathetic character in a teen who has everything, yet Serenity's sense of justice and loyalty makes her relatable.  

It helps that we also get the oppressed's perspective through Bram, a grumpy marshal who was mysteriously saved from the system. Bram expresses the reader's doubts toward Serenity, which pushes the reader to feel defensive. Serenity in turn keeps Bram uncomfortable; she forces him to see that most Kaycians are not the enemy but a duped people. The tension between Bram and Serenity adds dimension to their perspectives and their world.

While the lead characters are male and female, Natalie left plenty of room for the Bechdel test. Not only does Serenity recruit her best friend Vogue to the uprising but she also unites and befriends all the Kaycians working with her toward the end of the Establishment. Although there is romance in the air (team Bram), the girls in the cast brainstorm solutions and discuss societal issues and technology. It's definitely a STEAM-friendly book.

However, the one thing I didn't notice was any persons of color. Whether there is truly a lack of people of color in Kaycie or if it was my fault as a reader in picking up descriptions, I'm not sure. It will be interesting to see how the character descriptions expand as Bram and Serenity's worlds expand in Book 2.

Overall, this book made me think, and it also made me want to drink merlot and martinis while thinking. I enjoyed reading it and ruminating over it. I recommend it to anyone who loves the glamour of Downton Abbey and the first half of "Catching Fire."

Visit Natalie's website and purchase "Falling & Uprising" through Bookshop and Amazon.
0 Comments

Book Review: Hazel's Shadow

10/25/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
When the Shadow person that haunts Hazel starts a zombie apocalypse, Hazel must band with her classmates--and victim's ghosts--to survive and face her destiny.
If you know me, you know this isn't a normal read for me. I'm easily spooked (I still contend that Jurassic Park is a scary movie.), and this book is SCARY. Shadow people are probably the most terrifying paranormal creature. If you don't believe me, listen to episode 59 of "Timesuck with Dan Cummins." But if I was going to read a paranormal thriller, it would be by Nicole MacCarron.

This book gave me all the feels. Sure, it gave me vivid nightmares about nonkillable zombies, but Nicole masterfully balances terror and horror with humor and heartfelt moments. In Hazel and her five classmates (ALL GIRLS. I don't think a boy is mentioned outside of a Coach, teacher, absent family member, or ghost.  Bechdel Test Approved!), Nicole creates a diverse cast that includes both persons of color and queer characters. AND Hazel is a fat, talented athlete! Most of the girls I competed with as a teen were like Hazel, and I'd love to see this represented more in YA books.

These girls have clashing personalities and ideas. Some are more abrupt and some are more nurturing, but they are all well-developed with backstory, action, and dialogue. In their own unique ways, they comfort, mourn,  and puzzle out solutions together. With them,  I laughed, I cried, I had nightmares. 

Nicole utilizes both plot and prose to create a well-paced book. There is just enough  set up to make you care when all hell breaks loose. And it escalates quickly--it is a zombie apocalypses, after all--but then it deescalates, giving the reader (and characters) a short break while suspense and tension builds through subplots about friendship, sisters, and crushes (all of which I'm a sucker for.)

If you like "Hocus Pocus" and "Dawn of the Dead," I think you'll love "Hazel's Shadow."

BONUS: The sequel, "Hazel's Mirror," is being released tomorrow, October 21, 2021 and was edited by yours truly, so I can tell you it does not disappoint. 

"Hazel's Shadow" is available on Amazon and Indigo (Kobo).  Check out Nicole's website for more information. 
0 Comments

    Author

    Sarah Hawkins is a geek for the written word. She's an author and freelance editor who seeks to promote and uplift the authors around her.

    Get your free Developmental Self-editing checklist

    * indicates required
    /* real people should not fill this in and expect good things - do not remove this or risk form bot signups */

    Intuit Mailchimp

    Categories

    All
    Annoucements
    As Seen On TikTok
    Book Review
    Cohesion
    Colons
    Commas
    Coordination
    Craft Posts
    Dependent Clauses
    Editor's Roundup
    Grammar 101
    Indie Author
    Line Editing
    Prepositions
    Punctuation
    Revision
    Self Edit Tips
    Self-edit Tips
    Spelling
    Style Series
    Subordination
    Word Compounds

    Archives

    December 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    May 2022
    March 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021

    RSS Feed

    Donate to the Indie Author Fund
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
  • Clients
  • Services
    • Manuscript Editing
  • Book Your Edit
  • Resources
  • Blog